I don’t often turn on my TV when I wake up to watch the news, but this morning I did… and the first thing I learned was that Julie Powell – the food writer who inspired the movie Julie and Julia which inspired me – died on October 26th of cardiac arrest. She was 49 years old. It wasn’t the first reminder I’d received recently that you never know when you’re going to go. There have been plentiful reminders of this fact the past few years, but this one came the day after I received yet another suggestion that I should ponder how practicing fortune telling may affect my afterlife.
Before that conversation I had been thinking about what I would next write about here – which part of my never-ending thoughts I should share. After the conversation about how I justify my present behavior given my belief in the Bible, the sniffles I had been feeling for two days turned way worse. I ended up up sleeping all afternoon and evening (except for a short bit where my splitting headache pushed my nausea beyond the brink and left me crying on the bathroom floor about the pain). Rising about 2 hours after I often crawl in bed (because I had already slept 16+ hours and could rest no more), I turned on the morning news for the first time in many months… and learned that the woman that my mind first turned to for guidance a few days ago while pondering how to move forward here is gone.
I was thinking I would mostly discuss the things that happen to me which seem like more than mere coincidence… and then this happens… and it feels like more than just coincidence. It feels like a sign. I tell those who ask that I’ve prayed about it and truly feel I’m doing the right thing, but doubts do still creep in my mind from time to time. I say I’ve read the scriptures and don’t feel condemned, but I struggle to specify why when asked. I have my reasons, but I wish I could explain it better. So, I’ve decided it’s time to work on that.
At the moment, I’m not ready to set a specific goal (i.e. 524 recipes in 365 days like Julie did) but I am ready to say I’ll be discussing all kinds of religious and spiritual things and will write as often as possible (hopefully every day). I’m going to examine my beliefs in every way I can imagine and research all information that may either support or disprove the validity of divination and/or whether or not such practices are evil. I don’t want to build a career around a spiritual practice I’ll later disavow as Doreen Virtue did. I’m sharing my knowledge of fortune telling with playing cards for free now (as an e-course and through my YouTube channel) because I believe it’s a gift I’m meant to help others recognize and understand. I believe I’m meant to use it in poker to show it can be done; to remind the world that God works in mysterious ways. Someone I looked up to once told me that there’s no way that writing and playing poker could be my spiritual path. I knew he was wrong then – before I accepted that I was seeing messages in the cards – and now I’m ready to prove it. Right or wrong, good or bad, win or lose, I’m all-in.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Matthew 5:8
The Yoga of Jesus by Paramahansa Yogananda
The Mystical Teachings of Jesus by David Hoffmeister
I would love to hear your questions, thoughts, and reading suggestions in the comments section below. Thank you for reading this post and joining me on this journey!
Rachel Hoyt 